Finding Joy Through My Tears

This blog is to share my journey with God through the heartache and pain of losing my son, Chandler. An outlet for me of sorts. Follow me on my road of grief to healing through the Lord.

Let’s Take A Small Break…..

on September 10, 2013

I just feel like I need to pause today from my story. I fully intend to walk you through every aspect of my journey. But, today, God has focused my attention on something different. He has directed me to speak directly to those of you who are reading this blog that may be going through something equally as devastating as I am. It’s just not in the same way.

I feel like the Lord has blessed me with more people reading this blog than I could have ever imagined. I expected my closest friends and family to read it out of obligation. But, I am starting to see that God may have different plans for this simple, little blog.

The truth is we are all hurting and burdened by something in our lives. It may not be the loss of a child. It may be a broken marriage. It may be a child that is very much alive that is going down a path of destruction. A path that you cannot seem to understand. A path that you don’t want to believe is happening. There are so many different heartaches and problems and devastation in our lives.

I am hoping that by my sharing the things that the Lord has taught me over the last few months that it can help you to just receive revelation from God.

Sometimes, we feel we cannot surrender the things that are absolutely weighing you down. That it is too painful to let go. Too painful to even think about. My response to that is we live in a broken world that so many things are going to break us. You need to know that you do not have to strive in God’s presence. You just have to lean in.

I have started to use the phrase “Lean in to God” a lot since Chandler’s accident. The definition of leaning is “to cast one’s weight to one side for support.” Beloved, God is our support. We just have to lean in to Him.

I had no choice in that hospital room laying with Chandler talking to him, trying to be strong for him. Being his Mommy. Yes, his Mommy. But, the whole time I was absolutely leaning into God. I didn’t have to strive. Just lean. It’s painful to surrender because so many times we don’t understand why. We may never know why for a very long time. We may never know why this side of heaven.

But, Chandler was far more important to me than my fear and pain. I had to surrender to God. I had to surrender Chandler to God. I have had to learn this painful truth that Chandler was God’s child before He was mine and Greg’s. He allowed us to borrow him. He also chose that it was time to take him from us. Chandler was too important to me not to surrender him to the King of Kings. The Lord of Lords. The Alpha and The Omega. I have to stop and just praise You God…. I know that I did not and could not surrender my son, my baby, the boy that had the best heart that I have ever known to anyone else but You, Father. You are the only One. I thank You that You came and got him and took him with you. I could not have stood for anyone else but You to have him. You knew that.

I have also had to come to terms with the fact that I survived. I have despised that at times. But, I survived. He is not finished with me yet.

My question to you today is “What do you need to surrender?” What is it? I want to share Scripture with you from Isaiah. Please see God’s Words below:

“God doesn’t come and go. He lasts.

He’s creator of all you can see or imagine.

He doesn’t get tired out, doesn’t pause to catch His breath.

And He knows everything, inside and out.

He energizes those who get tired,

Gives fresh strength to dropouts.

For even young people tire and drop out,

Young fold in their prime stumble and fall.

But those who wait upon the God get fresh strength.

They spread their wings and soar like eagles.

They run and don’t get tired. They run and don’t lag behind.”

~Isaiah 40:28-31 The Message

I love how it tells us that even the young people get tired. This has been so devastating for the younger kids to deal with. I know that Alyssa, Sara, Brooke, Carmen, Cameron as well as all of Chandler’s friends have been so worn out and tired from grief. But, don’t miss the treasure in this. GOD GIVES US FRESH STRENGTH! GOD DOESN’T COME AND GO, HE LASTS!

I do not care where you are today…. Grieving the loss of a child, a broken marriage, a broken relationship, maybe you are into something so deep that you have no idea how to get out of. Remember, God lasts. Lean into Him. Surrender. Give it to God.

He will bless that. Please know that I am praying for every, single person that sees this blog.

I am praying that each of you receive a revelation tonight and surrender to the King of Kings.

I leave you with the words of an old hymn that I have loved forever:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus

Look full in His wonderful face

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim

In the light of His glory and grace

 

Thank you for walking this journey with me. I would love to have your feedback and comments. Let’s talk about Jesus!

Until Tomorrow, Brandi

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2 responses to “Let’s Take A Small Break…..

  1. Chris Hayes says:

    I’m glad you took a break today. I needed that reminder to stop carrying my burdens alone. I love that term “lean into God”. I forget that sometimes when I am trying to be strong. Your words are powerful! Keep sharing them!

  2. Jennifer Reasner says:

    Thank you so much for your blog. I lost someone in January who was like my brother to a senseless shooting. (All we know is a guy came around the building got close to him and started shooting). Now 9 months later we don’t know anymore than we did that night. I can not imagine what you are going through. But, I do agree with all your blogs. Lean into and trust in God because he is omnipresent and our only constant! Sending prayers your way!!!

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Brandi Trent

my journey to finding god in the midst of grief

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for when life hands you lemons

Urban Hallelujah

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Dose Dependent Ministries

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Ephesians 5:16

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Finding Joy Through My Tears

This blog is to share my journey with God through the heartache and pain of losing my son, Chandler. An outlet for me of sorts. Follow me on my road of grief to healing through the Lord.

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