Finding Joy Through My Tears

This blog is to share my journey with God through the heartache and pain of losing my son, Chandler. An outlet for me of sorts. Follow me on my road of grief to healing through the Lord.

A Word from Greg….

on October 6, 2013

I know that you all have heard a lot from me and you know where I am. But, Greg hasn’t spoken out at all. He is a man that is quiet but humble. A man that I know loves God with all his heart and soul, he just doesn’t know how to right now. The difference between our grief makes us feel that we are mountains away from each other. But, thank God at the end of the day, the one thing that we share is the same. Chandler is still gone. And, we are both still setting around all of the broken pieces looking at each other knowing that neither one of us has the energy or the strength to even begin to try and pick them up. We are exhausted from grief. We recognize it. I’m positive our girls recognize it too. We want to be 100% for them because we know that they need us. Yet, we simply have a hard time making dinner. We assure them that this won’t last forever. This is just a phase of grief. And, while we are saying these very words, we are hoping with everything in us that it is true. Well, enough from me…. Here is Greg….

Broken but Restored…

God’s Word really does open up to us the mystery of the universe. It really does make us wiser than we could ever be without it. And, yet, having said this, it’s sad that we do not take more advantage of this wisdom that God has given us. It’s sad that we don’t think His thoughts. The thoughts He has given us through His Word and by actively living a life of prayer. We don’t require ourselves to look at life through the lens of His revelations. The thoughts we have when we step out and do the things that You have asked us to do. It is sad that we make ourselves out to be wiser that we are.

I wrote these words for a sermon that I was working on right before Chandler passed away. Right now, I don’t look through the lens of God’s revelations at all. People that know me know that I say what’s on my mind. I don’t hold back from saying how I think and feel. But, since June 22nd I have been holding back. People do not know where I am or how I am doing. Well, I am ready to stop holding back right now.

The truth is I am a broken man. I am not the “tough man” that I used to be. I have changed. I find that the longer Chandler is gone the worse it gets for me. I’m weak. I’m vulnerable. I’m angry. I’m sad. My heart is crushed. I find myself asking all of the time, “My God, why did this happen to my family?” This was not supposed to happen to us.

I was the one that was supposed to protect my family. Brandi and I were the ones that were supposed to die first. We were not supposed to bury our child.

I ask, “What does this mean? Why is my only son dead?” Everyone keeps saying that the way we feel is normal but I keep asking, “How is any of this normal?” How can the death of your child be normal?

I am asking God right now, “Please help me find a way to look through Your eyes for understanding. Please help me understand. Father, I am broken.”

~Greg

I love that we are both on the same page with trying to be transparent. We don’t find ourselves on the same page much anymore.

God, help us to see things the way that You see them. Help us to lean on You with all of our brokenness. Father, help us. We have no words. Just come be with us now. Do not leave us. In Jesus’ Name…

Advertisements

One response to “A Word from Greg….

  1. Chris Hayes says:

    Very proud of you Greg for sharing. I just keep thinking that Chandlers story and your family’s is going to make a critical difference in someone else’s life. I will continue to be in prayer for you all. I’m very glad Brandi has a strong man of God to lean on.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Brandi Trent

my journey to finding god in the midst of grief

all our lemmony things

for when life hands you lemons

Urban Hallelujah

Let everything that has breath praise the Lord

Dose Dependent Ministries

Faith, Food, Family: Real Life, Well Lived

Ephesians 5:16

Redeeming the time...

Finding Joy Through My Tears

This blog is to share my journey with God through the heartache and pain of losing my son, Chandler. An outlet for me of sorts. Follow me on my road of grief to healing through the Lord.

%d bloggers like this: