Finding Joy Through My Tears

This blog is to share my journey with God through the heartache and pain of losing my son, Chandler. An outlet for me of sorts. Follow me on my road of grief to healing through the Lord.

Even In The Fire You Are Faithful….

on October 28, 2013

I know it’s been a while again… I have been just resting with God. He has been showing me things that I have needed to hear from Him. You know, that’s why I love Him so. He amazes me every second of every day. He shows me things through prayer and His Word that I need right at the very second that I need it. I love that. No one on this earth could do that for us. And, when He shows me, it’s not just once. It is in His Word, I feel Him washing it over my soul while crying out to Him. I see it in devotionals that I happen to pick up. I hear it in songs that I listen to. I am sure that is His way of letting me know for sure that it is from Him and it is what I need. I love that. I love Him.

I am amazed that I can barely function on day to day tasks but I am remembering His teachings from years ago. Remembering bits of sermons, bible studies, devotionals that I have heard along the way. And, I must say… I never in a million years thought I would need those things heard along the way for my own personal life. I always thought these bits of information would be something that maybe I could use to help someone else someday. Boy, was I wrong. So wrong.

I almost cannot believe the way that I used to think before June 22nd. I never in a million years thought my family could be touched by ANY kind of tragedy. Yes, we would have rough times but it wouldn’t be anything serious. I would have never, ever dreamed that my son would die much less by his own hands with a gun. An accidental shooting. That never, ever occurred to me. Not once. Those are things that happen to other people. Not my family.

But, it did. It has been very, very hard to say the following sentence. My son, Chandler died on June 22nd from an accidental gunshot wound to his precious head. It was not repairable. I have wanted to say things like, “Since this happened, when this happened, all this stuff with Chandler.” Not for one moment did I want to say, “My son, Chandler died.” That has been the hardest thing for me. I guess I felt like if I didn’t say it out loud then it wasn’t true. But, it is true.

God reminded me the other day of a study that I actually led at my previous church by Beth Moore. It was a study on Daniel. I remembered watching and studying the DVD teaching about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. Up until this time I only remembered these three from Sunday school as a child. But, there is rich teaching in their story. You will find it in Daniel 3.

You see, they lived in Babylon and their king at the time made a huge idol for the people to worship. Everyone in the kingdom were required to bow down and worship this false god when they heard the sounds of all kinds of various music. These three and Daniel served the living God. They were not going to have any part in worshiping this idol. Of course, they were told on and the king summoned Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego to his courts.

He asked them flat out…. “Is it true, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego that you do not serve my gods or worship the image of gold that I set up?” Long story short, here is their response:

“O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O King. BUT EVEN IF HE DOES NOT, we want you to know, O King that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”

I have to say wow to that! I would hope that when I was faced with being thrown into a fiery furnace heated 7x its normal heat that I would have the faith to stand right up and say those words. Nevertheless, they were thrown into the furnace. Then, something happens.

The king said, “Look! I see four men walking around in the fire, unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like a son of the gods.”

Here is the point that I learned from Beth Moore in this study:

1)    We can be delivered FROM the fire. I prayed and begged God that this be the case with Chandler. I wanted him to be miraculously healed. For him to wake up and the physicians be stunned. A miracle. That did not happen to him.

2)    We can be delivered through the fire. I have found myself in this place. I survived the loss of my child. I survived and he did not. And, every second I have found that God walks with me. He is WALKING WITH ME THROUGH THIS FIRE.

3)    We can be delivered by the fire into His arms. That is what happened to Chandler. He was delivered straight to the arms of God. His faith was perfected on Saturday, June 22, 2013 at 7:22pm. Straight to the arms of His creator.

This has spoken volumes to me over the past week. Chandler was awake for this the entire time. He went straight to the presence of the King of Kings. And, that makes this Mama’s heart feel better.

Sometimes, God doesn’t deliver us in the way that he thought He would. And, He never promised that He would. He did promise me this. He will walk with me through the fire and through the valley of the shadow of death. And, He is true to His promises.

This does not just apply to my situation. This could apply to an illness that you are facing. This could apply to your broken marriage. This could apply to your unruly teenager that you don’t know what to do with. There are so many scenarios in life that these same concepts apply to. Search your heart today. Let God speak these truths over your life like He has mine.

Father, I stop now to just thank You. Father, thank You that no matter what, You will not leave me. Thank you for walking with us no matter where we are in the fire or what is going to happen to us. You know. Thank You Lord for standing by me as I have survived the loss of my child. And, he has gained a perfected faith and is with You now. Father, love on him extra tight tonight and let him know how much his Mama loves him and misses him. And, please tell him…. We will be together again. In Your Name, Amen.


4 responses to “Even In The Fire You Are Faithful….

  1. Dolly says:

    Brandi…I know I will never know anyone else like you. God truly is speaking to you…and to me because of you. I am blessed to be able to call you friend.

  2. […] Even In The Fire You Are Faithful…. ( […]

  3. Dear Brandi – I cannot begin to imagine what you are going through. I read your message because I had just written a piece about what to do when our prayers are unanswered and the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego answers that question for me as it does for you. I added the link to your message on my article because it is so moving and powerful. I pray that if others read my article that they link to yours. I agree with Dolly, God is speaking to you. I pray that God continues to strengthen you so that your eyes stay fixed on Him. I pray that the same faith you receive will be given 100 times over to your daughters. If you feel led to read my article, I pray it will be an added encouragement to you.
    Blessings, Julie

    • branditrent3 says:

      Thank you so much Julie….. I am so glad that the Lord spoke to you through my blog. I couldn’t possibly walk this road without him. I enjoyed your blog as well. Thank you for your words of encouragement.

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Brandi Trent

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Finding Joy Through My Tears

This blog is to share my journey with God through the heartache and pain of losing my son, Chandler. An outlet for me of sorts. Follow me on my road of grief to healing through the Lord.

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