Finding Joy Through My Tears

This blog is to share my journey with God through the heartache and pain of losing my son, Chandler. An outlet for me of sorts. Follow me on my road of grief to healing through the Lord.


on November 19, 2013

I have been thinking a lot about friends. I have been so blessed in my life with really, really good friends. But, sometimes certain friends are in your life for only a season. And, they serve their purpose and you just drift apart. And, that’s ok. No hard feelings. You just move on.

Then, there are times when God places people in your life that you know without a doubt that you will be friends with for your entire life. Death would have to take you away from that friend. You know the friends I am talking about. The one’s that you may not talk to for a year and when you talk, you pick right back up where you left off like you hadn’t missed a beat.

Then, there are friends that God sends you out of nowhere that are the most unlikely people. Someone that you would have never, ever met if you hadn’t been going through the circumstance that you are in. God has placed someone special in my life like that now. I just hate that it had to be because we both lost a child. I never want anyone to have to be in that club. But, she has been a true blessing to me. I feel like there is hope after talking with her.

I have been blessed with all of these. I am one lucky girl.

I have three friends that I want to tell you about. Their names are Lorie, Stacie, and Michelle. We have known each other for years. Our kids were so little when we met. I became friends with these girls quickly. Our friendship reminds me of David and Jonathan in the Bible. In 1 Samuel 18:1 it tells us that “Jonathan and David became one in spirit.” Then, it goes on to say in verse 3 that “Jonathan made a covenant with David.”

This reminds me of my three friends because I feel like back in those early days when our children were little that we made a silent covenant. We agreed that we would raise these kids together. We would watch out for the other’s kids and treat them as if they were our own. We have stuck to that covenant through the years. We have laughed over them, cried over them, prayed over them. And, we did it together. Of course, the kids grew older and did their own things and sometimes there were times where we didn’t get to talk often. But, I knew that if I needed them, they would be there.

I had been in touch with Lorie for about 1 ½ years regularly when Chandler passed away. I had been in touch off and on with Michelle and Stacie as well during the last year. We had graduation invitations and college acceptance letters to talk about. We even have grandbabies!!!! Our babies were growing up. Then, Lorie started having kids again! J Her babies can play with the grandbabies now and we can start our covenant all over again!

But, I want to say…. On June 22nd, my life was total chaos. Lorie was with me right from the start because she had my girls. I looked up at one point and I witnessed these three friends walking down the hall together straight to me right when it mattered most. Right, when my world was falling apart. We went in to see Chandler together. We cried. We were devastated and heartbroken. Chandler was just as much theirs as he was mine. They had helped me raise him. They grieve as if they have lost a child just like I grieve. They try and keep it from me but I know. I know because I know how I would feel if it had been one of theirs.

God blesses us with these special people in our lives who come along beside us and help us. The saying is true that “It takes a village to raise a child,” No words could ever express how thankful and how grateful I am to have them in my life. I thank God for them every day.

He has also brought back friends that I haven’t been able to see for a very long time. My friend, Kisha. She has walked right by my side during my grief for Chandler. She even spends the night with me sometimes! I also get to talk frequently with a wonderful high school friend, Chris.

And, Donna…. My sweet, precious friend. I fully remember asking Lorie to call her immediately. She got there as quick as she could. I will never forget the look of heartbreak on her face when she came back to see Chandler. But, she grabbed my hand and looked me straight in the eye. And, she spoke truth over me. She said, “The entire way here the Lord kept saying to me that what the enemy means for evil, God will work it out for good.” How ironic that He had been speaking the same words over me while sitting bedside with Chandler. She confirmed His message.

They all have stood by me in ways that I have never known. God blesses us with friendships. Who is that special someone in your life? For me, God has blessed me with many.

That is how we get through life. We have God and then we have our girls.

I just wanted you each to know: Lorie, Stacie, Michelle, Donna, Kisha, and Chris that I love you very much. Thank you for loving my Chandler the way you did. Thank you for praying with me when we didn’t know what else to do. And, most of all…. Lorie, Stacie, and Michelle. Thank you for being Chandler’s Mom when you all had him. Thank you for loving him. Thank you for putting band aids on his little scrapes and scratches. For tucking him in at night with your kids. For bathing him and feeding him. Thank you for being his Mom too.

Blessings, Brandi



2 responses to “Friends…

  1. Stacie Dockery says:

    Thank you for trusting me to be a part of raising Chandler (and the girls) all these years. More than that, thank you for understanding MY grief for ‘our’ precious boy. You have helped me thru the grief as much as I have helped you. I Love You and I’m always here to wipe away your tears or even to cry along with y

    • branditrent3 says:

      Sweet friend, I have never doubted that for one second. I love you and am so grateful for you. Again, you and Michelle stayed with my baby and my parents ALL night so I could tend to Alyssa and Sara. There are no words to describe to you how much that meant to Greg and myself. I love you friend!

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Brandi Trent

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Finding Joy Through My Tears

This blog is to share my journey with God through the heartache and pain of losing my son, Chandler. An outlet for me of sorts. Follow me on my road of grief to healing through the Lord.

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